About Domestic Violence

Domestic & Family Violence can include any one or more of the following;

Emotional/Verbal abuse Physical Abuse Sexual Abuse

Social Abuse Financial Abuse Spiritual Abuse

Emotional/Verbal abuse -
Making threats resulting in the other person being afraid. Yelling & screaming, putdowns, swearing, name-calling. Constantly criticising and ridiculing for example body shape, intelligence, achievements, abilities or parenting skills. Mind games eg saying someone is imagining things, going crazy or is paranoid. Sulking, giving the silent treatment.

Physical Abuse -
Slapping, pushing, hitting, holding or pinning down, punching, kicking, choking, strangling, attacking with any weapon. Driving dangerously with others in the car. Punching holes in walls or doors. Damaging property or throwing objects or treasured possessions. Injuring pets.

Sexual Abuse-
Forcing someone to have sex or engage in sexual practices not of their choice. Using degrading terms like slut, whore or frigid.

Social Abuse -
Making it difficult to see or telephone friends or family or controlling social activities. Embarrassing the person in front of their family or friends for the purpose of reducing contact. Preventing the person from working, obtaining a driver’s licence or using a car. Stalking or checking up on the other person.

Financial Abuse -
Controlling the money or expecting the person to manage on an unreasonable amount. Calling them a freeloader. Making the other person account for every dollar spent. Getting the other person into debt.

Spiritual Abuse -
Preventing someone from pursuing their beliefs. Ridiculing the other person’s beliefs. Using religious texts to manipulate the other person’s behaviour.

 

Cycle of Violence A pattern can often be identified in Domestic Violence. There may be an incident or ‘explosion’. This can be followed by feelings of remorse, blame or denial by the person perpetrating the abuse. They may be ashamed and promise it will never happen again and that they will change. Or they may blame alcohol or drugs or even the person being abused for causing the violence. The violence may be minimised eg “it was only a little push, they tripped.”A ‘honeymoon’ period may follow where everything appears calm and gifts or flowers may be bought for the person who has been abused. Both may hope or believe things will change, however, beliefs and attitudes have not changed. After this honeymoon period there may be a build up of tension. Some women describe this period as walking on eggshells as they are afraid that anything may result in further violence. This period continues until there is another explosion. The cycle starts again. The length of the cycle may be days, weeks or months. It is different in each case.

 

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