Brad's Story

Now that I think back over the years, I guess I have known about my sexuality since I was a child. I experimented with a couple of guys during my teenage years. I always found myself initiating the experiences. For the two guys, it would have been just a bit of fun, but for me it meant more than that. If they had felt the way I did, who knows, I might have 'come out' during my teens. I knew I was attracted to the same sex, but I felt I couldn't truly admit it to myself. Throughout the years I have often thought about men sexually, but I guess that was lodged at the back of my mind.

Last year, it hit me like a tonne of bricks!! It sounds silly, but that is how it was. One day it just dawned on me. I finally admitted to myself that I am gay. I found myself thinking about men all the time. I asked myself, if a man showed an interest in me, would I respond to him? I almost couldn't bear thinking what my answer would be. But I did think, long and hard, and I knew within myself that I would be lying if I said no.

I felt scared, but also relieved, like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I was thinking about it for hours, then, with a tremendous amount of guts, I decided I wanted to tell Mum. Unlike some gay people, I felt my parents should know from the start. I am very close to them. I wasn't exactly sure how they would react, but I felt they had a right to know what I was going through.

I phoned Mum. The first time I hung up. I felt terrified. I was shaking. Then I just found myself calling her again. I didn't know how to start the conversation, but somehow I found the courage. I told her I had something important to tell her. I said "Can you guess what I might be talking about?" She must have had some idea, as she said "Are you gay?" I said "Yes, Mum, I am." She cried heavily for a while. That nearly broke my heart. I almost regretted what I had revealed to her.

As we began discussing how I felt, Mum became very supportive and understanding. That's exactly what I needed from her; I was overwhelmed, but very grateful. She told me that, even though she would prefer it if I were straight, she still loved me and accepted me for who I am. Wouldn't it be great if we could all say that about our family and friends? If I could have seen her at that precise moment, I would have given her a big hug, and not let go! If my parents hadn't reacted as positively as they did, who knows where I would be today? I'm sure I wouldn't be as happy and comfortable within myself as I am feeling right now.

All I would like to say to other people who are discovering their sexuality, is that they need to be honest with their feelings, and follow their heart.

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